Baby Steps

As it snows all over the place outside I have a quiet moment to process where we are in "the process" of our second adoption. Elijah's feels so long ago yet he will just have his third "Gotcha Day" this next February. Not much has moved. Our friend took 2 weeks to complete his reference (sigh) and so we have to wait to attend our orientation meeting this month instead of last month. Our Orientation meeting will go towards our 24 education hours required by China and Colorado. So next Friday, we will begin taking more active steps such as working on our dossier. For now our baby steps are background checks for 4 states (man we have moved a lot!!). As well as a stack of basic forms and such. This momma wants to go in "Mission Mode" as my friend always says, but I must instead be steadfast and wait for all the small pieces to come together into something wonderful, my daughter. While I am waiting, I have started to listen to old pod casts from Creating a Family. Wonderful reminders about adopting a toddler, and trans-racial adoption. Even though I have been there in a sense I know it will feel so new. Elijah with with a foster mother who loved him dearly, our new baby girl with have been in orphanage care. Very different experiences. I am also trying to prepare for our daughter's medical needs. We are doing a Waiting Child adoption and there are so many pieces to consider. What does having a child with a major heart issue look like, cleft lip and palate?, can I truly parent a deaf child or child missing a limb. The answers are of course "yes" but there are quiet moments when fear wants to get the better of me. I need to know my God is big and mighty and in charge. He has this! He knows me and He knows the little girl he has for me...I can trust Him. I say that more for myself than anyone. Had the blessing of meeting a few really awesome moms who have adopted from China. It was so special to hear them share their stories and it made me so excited for all that the future holds. Well my next post will be as I process the Orientation meeting and jump into the dossier...should be fun!

Who will she be?

As I write this I am sipping coffee and listening to the sweet voices of my daughter and niece playing Barbies in the basement. Though it has been almost 3 years since I have chosen to write, I had the urge this morning. Why? Well on Saturday, we turned in our initial application to adopt...for our second time. I feel such a mix of peace and fear, joy and apprehension. This mix feels confusing and yet right. For the last 2 years life has been full of a lot of "new". We moved back to CO, bought a house, and have been working to find normal. I feel like as I sit here, we are living a life that feels very comfortable and perhaps that is the issue. It is easy to sit in my warm home, enjoying the fact my kids bedtimes and wake times are perfectly predictable, and think this is what really matters, comfort. But when you follow Christ, comfortable is rarely good. So the hubs and I have been praying for what God has for us and we believe it is a little girl through the China Waiting Program. Here in CO we have found an amazing agency and we are so happy. But whew...filling out our medical checklist was (again) so hard! So we keep praying for the best God has for us and asking him to show us the way. So I guess what sits in my heart this morning is who will she be? What will she look like? Where is she now? Is she even born at this time? I feel like Mary trying the treasure this moment in my heart because I know it is the start of something wonderful.