Our journey through adoption has taken a detour. When we went to the information meeting last August, we believed we would be bringing home a 10 month old baby by this fall. However, due to changes in the South Korea process, we hope to bring home a toddler by next summer. How my plans have changed. It was a bitter pill to swallow as they say, as I let go of my plans and accepted God's will. Though I accept His will, I hurt and long for a second child. Though 2 years to adopt doesn't sound so bad, it must be added to the 2 years of praying to get pregnant that came before. So here I am, looking for some encouragement and a forum to share my story and help me face a long wait ahead.
Today I read through Psalm 56 and all I can say is "wow." "You have taken account of my wanderings; Put my tears in Your bottle. Are they not in Your book?...this I know, that God is for me...In God I have put my trust, I shall not be afraid."
Is that possible? How often God tells me to not fear and to trust Him. Yet, I am afraid...I am afraid we will never get our referrel (we are at 8 months waiting), I am afraid I cannot handle 11 months to bring our child home, and really I am afraid that when our baby comes home I will be in over my head. There are days I barely survive the one I have! However, those fears that feel so real are NOT truth. The truth is that God has been at my side through this journey, He holds my tears, and tells me to not fear. So I will press on and see where this goes. For today I will trust and be thankful for a God who cares so deeply.
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